Have you ever witnessed the aftermath of a tornado? The chaos, the destruction, the shock, the confusion and I could go on and on! What happens now? In what possible way can order and structure be created again? Where do these people turn for help in just basically knowing what comes next?
Believe it or not, sometimes our teenagers feel that same fear and confusion and overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to do next! And as badly as we parents want to feel that we can fix anything for our kid, that’s not always the case.
This same individual who could talk your ear off about everything that was possibly happening at the elementary school, is the same person who will sometimes hardly say a word to you. You, as a parent, haven’t changed, but what we need to understand is that the teenager has! In many ways.
I think one of the hardest parts of being the parent of a teen is realizing that we can’t take it personally when our teenagers need to talk to others to sort out the eruption of emotions that inhabit every teenager.
Recognizing that our teenagers may need to talk with a counselor takes a lot of courage and humility on the parents part. It’s understanding that we may know the answer but also realizing that another person might be able to communicate it better to our teen. Right now your teenager is possibly finding it hard to identify with you and will look elsewhere for someone they deem would “understand them.”
Wouldn’t you rather have a hand in deciding who is given a voice into the impressionable life of your teenager? God has given great gifts to people when it comes to listening and guiding in a Christ-like manner.
If your teen needs to talk to someone, encourage them to do so. You might be surprised at how that in itself will open up communication between the two of you!
Check out the online parenting class for this month:
After Watching The Video:
II Corinthians 1:4 says, “He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God!”
That’s what we want for our teens when they are in chaos or stressed out or have completely shut us out! We want them to be comforted! But how can we comfort them if they won’t talk to us about what is bothering them, you ask.
That’s a good question but not necessarily the right one. Maybe a better question would be how do we define comfort.
As a parent, comforting means that they tell us what is wrong, we give them a suggestion on what to do, they follow that suggestion and all ends up right in the world. Idyllic, but not realistic.
Maybe the comfort that the Bible is speaking of is just knowing someone is there and that they are not alone. Maybe comfort isn’t words but actions. Maybe comfort is finding someone that can help our teenager articulate what is going on and knowing that our effort was better than any advice we could ever give them.
Comfort can come in the form of hot chocolate or ice cream (one of my favorites), open ears and closed lips, a smile or a hug, and especially prayer. Most especially prayer.
Just remember, comfort is not how you view, but it’s more about how your teen views it!
Walking with you,